oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize