We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My underwear smells like fireworks.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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