ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
so much tequila, so little girl.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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