I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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