She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
