At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
