beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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