I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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