I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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