He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
