i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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