Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
