Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
