all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize