shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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