i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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