My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
