Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
