From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
