i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
