Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
