when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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