Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
