Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
