Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
