escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize