Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
