just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
