Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
