I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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