hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
