I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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