Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
