after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
