Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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