your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I deserve this hangover.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
