He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize