Already got asked if we're dating
This is not my ceiling
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
