no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
