if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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