So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
