why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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