And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
