We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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