I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
