This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
