We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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