um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
