i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
