It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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