I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
