i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
