There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
