Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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