Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
