how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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