Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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