its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
