does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
